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Consent

Consent is clear, knowing, and voluntary. Consent is active, not passive. Silence, in and of itself, cannot be interpreted as consent. Consent can be given by words or actions, as long as those words or actions create mutually understandable clear permission regarding willingness to engage in (and the conditions of) sexual activity. Consent to any one form of sexual activity cannot automatically imply consent to any other forms of sexual activity and can be withdrawn at any time. Previous relationships or prior consent cannot imply consent to future sexual acts. Coercion, force, or threat of either invalidates consent. You must gain consent every time you want to take things to the next level. Initiating an action, then pausing to ask if it is ok, is not consent. The use of alcohol or other drugs does not diminish one’s responsibility to obtain consent and does not excuse conduct that constitutes sexual misconduct under Randolph’s policy. If at any time during a sexual act any confusion or ambiguity is or should reasonably be apparent on the issue of consent, it is incumbent upon each individual involved in the activity to stop and clarify the other’s willingness to continue and capacity to consent. Neither party should make assumptions about the other’s willingness to continue.

Consent may NEVER be given by:

  • Minors, even if the other participant did not know the minor’s age.
  • Mentally disabled persons, if their disability was reasonably knowable to a sexual partner who is not mentally disabled.
  • Persons who are incapacitated (whether as a result of drugs, alcohol, or otherwise), unconscious, asleep, or otherwise physically helpless or mentally or physically unable to make informed, rational judgments.

No always means no.  Yes does not always mean yes.
It is YOUR responsibility to know the difference.

Check out these videos to learn more about consent:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJOKRYbgDh8

Some Ideas for Talking about Consent

Not sure how to approach your partner? Try questions like:

–          Would you like to _____?

–          Is it ok if I _____?

–          What do you think about _____? Would you like to try that?

–          I’d really like to _____. Would that be ok with you?

–          How far do you want to go?

–          I really liked it when we _____. Can we do that again?

–          Is there anything you don’t like?

–          Is there anything you don’t want to do?

–          Are there any areas or activities that are off limits?

–          How can we let each other know if one of us starts to feel uncomfortable?

 

If you hear or see any of the following, you do NOT have consent:

–          No.

–          Please stop.

–          I don’t like that.

–          I’m not okay with that.

–          I really don’t want to _____.

–          I know I agreed to _____, but now that we’ve started, it’s making me uncomfortable.

–          Silence.

–          Passivity.

–          Looking uncomfortable or disengaged.

–          Actively resisting.

 

 

 

 

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